Friday 22 March 2013

Freelance and Moving Money Around

Aggh I just want to be paid! Three weeks have gone by and my money is still stuck in a constipated battle with online money systems.


Until recently I was an employee, then my world turned inside-out, upside-down and back into the world of freelance. With +Keith Payson being a line producer (aka film producer who controls the budget purse strings on feature films), household money affairs are constantly surveyed and quantified in a meticulous manner, that's just him. Let me put it this way: Imagine what it would be like living with a surgeon who wants to dissect your eggs in the morning with tweezers before eating them. Similarly when it comes to cashflow, he spends a good proportion of our evenings managing household accounts, down to the honey and milkflow...

It's actually a good habit, one I admit I am less on top of these days, and must make an effort to get back on top of. (Right now I'm waiting for my money to push though so I can start budgeting again) For example, ask yourselves this question: how much does it cost you to live every month? If you can't answer it within 5 seconds - no pondering, and answer accurately to the nearest greenback note... you are in denial that you have a problem. But that's another story for another time, he can probably best explain.

For now I just want to tell you what happened to my money. And how increasingly frustrated I am that I can't get my hands on it sooner. I'm venting in the hopes I'll feel a little bit better, and that maybe there is a solution out there other than the slow passing of time like taking a constipated sh!t. It's painful all the way because I'm actually pissed about it. Frustration is never a good thing it fucks with you and is such a futile effort.

So I went Freelance

And wanted to do it right.

  • I delayed accepting payment until I was contractually in safe hands - 10 days.
  • Took me 2 days to set up a personal email attached to a corporate account to which I am not yet a signatory.
  • eCheque 3 ridiculous days to clear. B@stards.
  • Paypal leaped at taking money to hold it while they decided if the new transaction was legitimate - 2 days.
  • Paypal verification process was cleared, tack on another 3 to move it into the corporate account. ...cunts
  • Corporate account decides to put sending limits on a new recipient (Mrs Payson, Moi, the other half of Payson Associates), apparently I can't receive my money in bigger chunks than raisin sized clinker sh!ts, and there is a 30 day wait for this clusterfuck to come through.
  • Notice I'm cussing like a British Sailor now, my Husband has to write me a cheque for the balance of my partly stuck sideways money which I can take to the same frickin bank in person and wait another privileged 3 days for this sanctimonious silence before my first freelance income. FUCKWITS!
I'll be damned. Where has my money been all this time. Earning money for the fucking bankers. I don't sound any calmer. The only thing that has helped is having a husband who is so clearly on top of budgeting money movement around, that we had planned for a one month mess around by the banks and paypal. By the time my money clears, I'll be stuffing another payment in the paypal pipeline. Who would have thought that going Freelance would suffer you with IBS - Insane Banking Systems.



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